My life came to a halt

by Ivonne Cabral

My life came to stop sign. When that happens… what do you do?

Where do you leave the check lists of those things still pending? All of a sudden you realize that things get going even when you are not in control. Even though things do not look the same as the days when you took care of them. After all, it does not matter!

You get to smile at a distance; you sigh and think to yourself: it feels good to let go; you have been carrying a weight too heavy and could not lift another one.

You sigh and think to yourself: it feels good to let go.

You let go the management of your home and your priorities shift around.

Even your prayer time is different. It is now in the midst of pain and uncomfortable sensations. You get to blabber a few words but they are still valid. You still qualify. You continue to be athentic before God, even when you are fighting a fight with your religious head that tells you: you are not doing enough.

Then, a warm and sunny day comes. You hear laughter during dinner. You get to savor your meal. You get to sleep five hours streight; all of these become a gift from life.

I cannot believe that I used to live so fast. So detached from so many things, from so many needs, from so many prayers.

I used to stress out seeing things out of place around the house. I used to get depressed by not seeing a perfect figure in the mirror, sad for not fitting in those pair of pants that I used to wear so many years ago.

Now, I just want to enjoy the simple things, the quiet and noisy moments the day brings.

What does it matter? Everything is good. Everything has a lovely side to it.

What does it matter? Everything is good.
Everything has a lovely side to it.

Who cares if it gets dirty? Who cares if you do not follow your routine?

I only want to live. Smile. See people’s faces, hear their stories. Understand that many of their lives, like mine, have also come to a stop sign.